Better Luck Next Time, And A George Hamilton Loaf

Blame my mother-in-law. And my brother-in-law. If it weren't for these two making so much amazing food over the Thanksgiving weekend, I'd have had a new post up by now. If they hadn't sent me home with enough Tupperwared leftovers to feed me for a week, I'd be cooking up a storm.

And with all the pumpkin pie, carrots, sweet potatoes and squash I've eaten lately, I'm think I'm in serious danger of turning into George Hamilton.






















(He's this shade of orange because of all the beta carotene he gets, right?)

Thanksgiving was lovely, it really was. I enjoyed seeing my family and in-laws, my adorable nieces and nephews, and there was more wonderful food than you could imagine. There is still an entire pumpkin pie sitting in my fridge, and for some reason, I decided this morning to bake a pumpkin loaf. Clearly, I am not in my right mind.

I am attributing my wrong-mindedness to stress. Readers, I am stressed. Like, really, really stressed. I hate my job with a capital HATE. Yesterday was Tuesday, so in accordance with the 'Friendliness To Monika' schedule, I was due for some kind words or at least a bit less hostility than the usual Monday-Wednesday-Thursday variety from Grumpy Co-Worker and Veterinarian.

"Unless..." Husband speculated, "unless because of Monday being a holiday, then Tuesday is the new Monday this week?"

Fark. And don't you know it, he was right. Tuesday was the new Monday, and I came home angry and sobbing.

Maybe I'm being greedy. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe you can't have it all, at the same time; a wonderful family, some great friends, an awesome husband AND a job that isn't awful? Perhaps the life I'm living right now is balanced - good and bad, happy and crazy-making?

After all, I know there are so many people out there stuck in jobs they hate. And they stay, because they have families to feed, or because there simply aren't any other jobs out there. Or because, worst of all, they don't think they deserve anything better...

So I decided to bake a pumpkin spice loaf. Because when I'm not in my right mind, baking, with all its directions and processes and structure, makes me feel normal and calm.

I opened the tin of pumpkin puree because I am not one of those people who will roast their own pumpkin. I'm just not. And here is what happens every single time I use the can opener, regardless of the what's in the can...






















Big, you're descended from desert hunters. How do you not smell that this isn't meat? Stop looking at me like that.














I used my favourite thing ever, Chatsworth honey, made by real Ontarian bees, in place of some of the white sugar that was called for,






















I mixed all the wet ingredients,














I added it to the dry ingredients and 50 minutes later, out came a delicious, tender/not dry/m-word loaf that is not overly sweet like cake, but spicy and would be lovely with a drizzle of maple syrup or cinnamon butter.














As I sat in the basement lunchroom at work, eating my slices of pumpkin loaf and happy to be away from the misery upstairs, I decided that I'd reached my wall of endurance and would start looking for a new job. Because I don't have a family to feed just yet. And I do believe there is a better job out there for me.

And best of all, I actually believe that I deserve to be happy.

George Hamilton Loaf, aka Pumpkin Spice Loaf, adapted from the Fannie Farmer Cookbook:

1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1/4 cup honey
1 cup pumpkin puree
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 eggs, beaten

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Sift together the flours, salt, sugar, baking soda and pumpkin pie spice.

2. In separate bowl, whisk the honey, pumpkin puree, veg oil and eggs till combined. Add to the dry ingredients and mix till just combined. Pour into a buttered loaf pan and bake for 50-60 minutes, till tester knife comes out clean.

Word Nerdery, And Peach-Cardamom Loaf

You know, for a positive, optimistic person, I certainly have a long list of things I don't like. Bananas (texture issues.) Kevin Costner (wooden acting abilities.) Bus rides during rush hour (overwhelming people musk, rudeness, confined spaces.) Also: seafood, irony, jodhpurs, elevators, indigestion, Mel Gibson, crowds, multi-tasking and eggplants.

In addition to things I don't like, I have a fairly strong aversion to particular words. It seems that the arrangement of certain letters creates unpleasant sounds or associations in my mind, and I am embarrassed to say them. Pantaloons. Bloomers. The word 'wiener' used in earnest; also, frankfurter. Panties. Macaroni. Pumping. Pumpernickel.

But the ultimate offender?

Moist.
(cringe.)

The fact that this word is used so often when describing baked goods troubles me deeply. Because there is NO alternative. In a world virtually clogged with choice, there is no other option for describing moistness. Believe me, I've tried. But saying a muffin is tender, juicy, damp-in-a-good-way, wet-ish, soft, undry, uncrumbly just doesn't work.

So I don't really have a good adjective for the texture of this Peach Cardamom loaf. Because despite all the luscious peaches involved, it fell somewhere in between the 'M' word and dry. I adapted the recipe from Whole Living magazine, and all I can surmise is that there was simply not enough fat or liquid in the batter. Where else could I have gone wrong?

I started off here:























Then did this:





















Then I got down to business, mixed the dry ingredients with the wet, and ended up with this:














Which then went here:














And ended up like this:














It all looks so promising, no? And yet...decidedly not as juicy/undry/tender as I'd anticipated. But lest you get the wrong impression, I've eaten almost the entire thing. I sneak slivers while I'm waiting for my toast to pop, or cut large hunks off for lunch. I've eaten it plain and with butter. I've eaten it warm and cold. And the fact remains that this loaf is actually good and totally worth perfecting.

Let's just say it's still a word in progress.

Peach-Cardamom Loaf, adapted from Whole Living Magazine, September 2010:

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cardamom
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground ginger
6 tbsp butter (use 1/2 cup! Trust me)
6 tbsp brown sugar
1/4 cup honey (next time I'll use a 1/2 cup and cut down on the brown sugar.)
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup applesauce
4-5 ripe peaches, cut into smallish cubes

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Butter and flour a 9 inch loaf pan. In medium bowl, whisk together all the dry ingredients.

2. Using an electric mixer, beat together the butter and brown sugar till fluffy, about 4 minutes. Add the honey and beat till combined. Add eggs, 1 at a time, and the vanilla extract and beat till incorporated.

3. With the mixer on low, add half the flour mixture and beat till just combined. Beat in the applesauce and remaining flour mixture till just combined. Fold in the cubed peaches and transfer the batter to the loaf pan. Bake till testing knife comes out clean, approximately 50-60 minutes, depending on your oven. Transfer to wire rack and let cool completely. Then slice and serve.

Of Bananas And Bourbon

Almost Husband and I just moved in January to our new apartment and I can tell it's going to take me a while to get used to this stove. Like most appliances of an indiscernible decade that could be the 1970's but also maybe the 1980's, this stove seems to have a mind of its own. Temperatures, it would appear, are mere guidelines, and the nervous cook must perform constant vigil over the simmering, bubbling, baking contents to ensure she doesn't end up with a charred panful of culinary hope. Last night, I burnt beyond salvation what I believe was going to be a spectacular banana bread.

I had decided to bake some banana bread for a number of reasons. One, I love it. But two, and perhaps the most persuasive of reasons, my freezer has become something of a repository for the overripe bananas from my CSA box, and the truth is, I actually hate bananas. I will only eat them in cake or loaf form. And every two weeks, I get a bunch of bananas, so bright and eager and sunshine yellow, and I inwardly groan knowing Almost Husband will divorce me if I add one more bunch of bananas to our tiny freezer. So banana bread is, in effect, helping my Almost Marriage run smoothly.

Banana bread recipes are a dime a dozen. I've tried so many, some calling for rum or coconut, peanut butter or cocoa powder. I've also tried some of the healthier ones, subbing with whole wheat flour, using applesauce in place of some of the oil. But I've never found one that has the right consistency and taste; a meeting place of not-quite-cake pillowy texture and a hint of sweetness that doesn't overpower.

But here, here is the recipe that satisfies, that meets its full potential on its own, but could also invite a smear of butter or a dab of cream cheese on a slice in more decadent moments. I've used this recipe from the wonderful Smitten Kitchen but made a couple of changes because I don't have bourbon. In fact, I am so liquor illiterate that I had to ask Almost-Husband what the difference between bourbon and whiskey was, and whether I could use whiskey instead. And then I thought about it. Would I want whiskey in my banana bread? And the answer was no. I also reduced the amount of sugar to 1/2 a cup, because I like my loaves a bit less sweet than most recipes call for, but feel free to bump it up to 3/4 - 1 cup if you so choose.

Smitten Kitchen Banana Bread, as adapted from Simply Recipes:

3-4 ripe bananas
1/3 cup salted butter, melted
3/4 - 1 cup brown sugar (I used 1/2 cup and found it just lovely!)
1 egg, beaten lightly
1 tsp vanilla
1 tablespoon of bourbon (I skipped this step - see above)
1 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt
1 tsp cinnamon (I used 1/2 tsp for a more subtle spiciness)
1/2 tsp nutmeg
pinch of ground cloves (I skipped this; I didn't have any)
1 1/2 cups of flour

1. Mash the bananas in a large bowl. Melt the butter and incorporate into the banana mash. Add the brown sugar, egg, vanilla, and bourbon; then the spices, and mix in. Then add the salt and baking soda and mix. Add the flour last and stir till just combined.

2. Pour mixture into an oiled/ buttered loaf pan and bake at 350 °F for about 50 minutes or until a tester knife comes out clean.

***My loaf was ready in about 40 minutes and I had to turn the heat down to 300 ° F due to my stove's whimsical nature regarding temperature.